Video I shot, directed and edited with Buck Wall for Mike Titsworth’s band PAIL back in 2002. Its finally back up in all its low budge fury!
Last night, at a photo show at Pro-Jex Gallery in Austin, I was discussing my plan as of the end of Feb. 2015 to give up visual art and concentrate on music & lit for 3 years with a local fellow artist and he asked “exactly how do you plan on doing that”? My only response was “just do it”. In me there is always a battle for the high ground, the nadir of the storm of my creative mind. What drives my decision making at this point in life (key) is a challenge. Once something becomes rote on some level for me I start to lose fascination.
I have always seriously considered myself a writer, a poet, an essayist even as far back as my elementary school journals. And music? Well the one thing that kept me from reaching the level I always desired since 1980 was two simple issues. 1) Affording the equipment needed and 2) Having to constantly rely on others to follow through. So now with the time freed up by setting aside visual art I can write and with the affordability of a home studio I can make music.
Lit is a personal journey. Of course in music I will collaborate but at least I can better hone my vision before I present it to others.
Visual arts (photography and graphics) will still pay my bills. It is what I do. but as of the end of feb. 2014 I will no longer work to plan shoots, attempt to get and or setup art shows and or get published. I will let that sleeper fall back to the shadow land of dreams. But rest assured over time, at some point, that sleeper will awake. Its inevitable.
Life is a beautiful magical train wreck to those of us who fight with depression. One minute you can be staring out the window reveling ecstatically at the beautiful vista out that window with no knowledge that the bridge is out just around the curve. Life is not simple. It is not just a choice between love and fear, well not at least for those of us who have the brain chemistry of an exploding nova in our hearts and minds. we learn to channel it at an early age, many through humor and or the arts. Having a brain that hopscotches around reality freely is not common, it is a great gift and a painful burden. It is tiresome to hear others claim that their view is the correct view when all it is, is another view of the roughly 7 billion views on this planet. Yes love and fear are our choices, but if you truly believe in the simplicity of this universe based purely on its simplistic merits then you will never taste vermillion, hear green or see a soul. Life is deep and there is more than one ocean to swim, and beyond this point there be metaphors that use no words. RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed.